The Pun is a Tool

A mosaic of puns at work one day while moving shovels, rakes and other tools.  

I like to "implement" puns into whatever I am doing.

Various Puns Vocalized:

"When push comes to SHOVEL, we can HANDLE this!"
"When you tell the plain truth about a digging tool, that's calling a SPADE a SPADE."
"Ho, HOE, my fine fellows!"
"We're really RAKEing in the dough now!"

The mind ADZE another, which I want to make into a joke, so I AXE my friend:
Me: "What king of jackets do ditch-diggers wear?"
Coworker: "TRENCH coats." (I work with quick thinkers!)
Me: "I see that you DIG what I am saying."

Thought of another that I told myself:
Me: "Did you hear about the singles bladed axe that was accused of giving a piece of wood a splitting headache?"
Myself: "No. Did he do it?"
Me: "We don't know yet, but it has been aWEDGEd that he did.  One tool said she even SAW it happen.  Sounds CLEARCUT to me."

I should do a follow up pun, but if you have heard one joke about a single bladed axe, you've heard a MAUL.

The HOLE idea of a pun rant is to pun till you hit an EMBLANKMENT.  Not being one to throw in the TROWEL, I make a last DITCH effort.

Me: "Did you hear about the spy who did a stakeout in a ditch?"
Coworker: Waits for my answer.

I know.  PITiful.

WELL, around this time, some of you might be groaning in a GUTTERal tone, and others may be PIPEing up, "SEWER is this going?"

I have thought of putting in a PLUG for something, or singing an ending jingle in FAUCETo, but I have the sinking feeling that this post is going down the DRAIN.  Just felt LEAD to share with you.

Furthermore, 
ABORTION is child sacrifice and MUST BE ABOLISHED.