A mosaic of puns at work one day while moving shovels, rakes and other tools.
I like to "implement" puns into whatever I am doing.
Various Puns Vocalized:
"When push comes to SHOVEL, we can HANDLE this!"
"When you tell the plain truth about a digging tool, that's calling a SPADE a SPADE."
"Ho, HOE, my fine fellows!"
"We're really RAKEing in the dough now!"
The mind ADZE another, which I want to make into a joke, so I AXE my friend:
Me: "What king of jackets do ditch-diggers wear?"
Coworker: "TRENCH coats." (I work with quick thinkers!)
Me: "I see that you DIG what I am saying."
Thought of another that I told myself:
Me: "Did you hear about the singles bladed axe that was accused of giving a piece of wood a splitting headache?"
Myself: "No. Did he do it?"
Me: "We don't know yet, but it has been aWEDGEd that he did. One tool said she even SAW it happen. Sounds CLEARCUT to me."
I should do a follow up pun, but if you have heard one joke about a single bladed axe, you've heard a MAUL.
The HOLE idea of a pun rant is to pun till you hit an EMBLANKMENT. Not being one to throw in the TROWEL, I make a last DITCH effort.
Me: "Did you hear about the spy who did a stakeout in a ditch?"
Coworker: Waits for my answer.
I know. PITiful.
WELL, around this time, some of you might be groaning in a GUTTERal tone, and others may be PIPEing up, "SEWER is this going?"
I have thought of putting in a PLUG for something, or singing an ending jingle in FAUCETo, but I have the sinking feeling that this post is going down the DRAIN. Just felt LEAD to share with you.
ABORTION is child sacrifice and MUST BE ABOLISHED.