Friendship Evangelism

For decades now, there has been an overwhelming push among Christians for "Friendship Evangelism".

The basic idea is that it is best to first establish a relationship with an unsaved person before you share the Gospel with them.  The common reasoning being that if you take the time to build a friendship (to let the other person know you care) you will have earned the right to speak directly to them regarding spiritual matters!  This is in hopes that your life will have already reflected the truth and that your friend will want what you have once you share the Gospel with them.  In the meantime, don't talk directly about their sin or the payment for sin—doing so might offend.

Those who espouse this type of evangelism often look down on, or try to dissuade, Christians who preach in the open air or hand out tracts—being overt in sharing Christ boldly before they have made relationships is not very pragmatic.

When I was a young man my father became a minister to a small church in a rural community in Minnesota.  That summer, my family went to the county fair to hand out tracts and talk with people about the Gospel.  It was a precious time that I remember well—but later discovered that some folks at the church were not happy at what we were doing.  These individuals went to one of the other church leaders and complained that we were "ruining the church's silent witness" in the community.  Huh?  Yes.  That's what they said. 

Their SILENT WITNESS.

There have been many excellent writings exposing unBiblical aspects of "Friendship Evangelism"—it ignores the clear commands of Scripture and it takes the urgency of the need for Christ (the fact that we do not know when someone might die) and replaces it with apathy.  I am not going to address those specific errors in detail at this time as it has already been covered by others.

But I do want to share a few of my own thoughts to consider what it means to be a real friend to all those with whom you are in contact.

My Opening Statement:
If your soul purpose for building a friendship is to evangelize then sharing the Gospel with strangers and new acquaintances is one of the best ways to make friends.

I. "What will they think of me...if I keep it from them?"

If we don't let people know that we are saved and that we desire others to know and trust in Jesus Christ as well, but keep it purposefully hidden for months or even years, might not those same people wonder at the truth of our sincerity?  When we finally get around to talking about the Gospel, they may ponder— "Why were they keeping the best news in the universe from me for so long?  Why didn't they tell me sooner?"

I well remember the account of a Buddhist-turned-Christian convert in China, who asked Hudson Taylor how long his people in the British Empire had known of the Gospel.  Hudson replied that the English had known about the Gospel for hundreds of years.  The new Christian gasped, and exclaimed:  "Hundreds of years?! How can it be that your people knew the way of salvation for so long, and have only come to tell us in China about it so recently?"  Millions of his own people had died without Christ, and he could not fathom why someone had not come and told them sooner!

I know of other accounts similar to this recorded example, from different countries.  If this was the response of those who were living on the other side of the world, how much more for those who live on the other side of the street, and with whom you may have close acquaintance? 

And if they die before you are able to tell them of their need for Christ, consider the grave reality of what they will think when they are condemned to eternal torment in the lake of fire—"Why didn't my Christian friends warn me?!!"

II. "It will surely be easier once we get to know each other."

This statement is a myth! There is actually a great weight of testimony that demonstrates that it is more difficult to start sharing the Gospel with family and friends than with strangers and new acquaintances.  

We have to remember that no matter how awkward we feel, or how fearful we may be, our openness to share the good news of the Gospel is not what will offend another person.  They will most likely be refreshed with our honesty.  It is Christ and Him Crucified, He is the rock of offense—and He is the One that draws all men to Himself!  Why not start by letting any new friend or acquaintance know upfront that your faith is real and of utmost importance to you—as you build your friendship around common goals, hobbies, or your season of life bringing the Gospel into any conversation will be consistent with who you are.  What is more awkward then springing "Jesus" on a friend just out of the blue after weeks, months, and years of hanging out.  The truth be told, it rarely is done.  

III. What do true friends talk about?

One mark of a true friend is that they will talk with you about what is most important to them.  For instance, someone who loves sports is not going to hide this passion from those he gets together with.  He is going to talk about it.  It will come out in conversation—even if the other individual does not understand or care about the game.  His friends are extremely likely to know early on in their relationship which sport he is into most, what team is his favorite, how the draft pick went, and who won the game—and he will probably invite those same friends into his home to watch a game on TV. It is ridiculous to even consider that this person would wait for months or even years before talking about it.  

A true friend will tell you what they value.

To befriend a person in order to first establish a close enough relationship with them in order to then have finally earned the right to share your faith, says a lot about your faith!  If Jesus Christ is your life, if both He and what He has written is important to you, then to keep the Gospel to yourself is a dishonest approach in that relationship.  

And consider the fact that not only is Jesus supposed to be your life and Whom you are to love because of what He has personally done for you, as Christians we KNOW Jesus Christ is the ONLY HOPE of eternal life for all men!  Evangelism is not about sharing our own praise testimonies with unbelievers as much as it is about plainly laying out the truth of sin, the cure to that sin which is the way of salvation, and how one can go about finding this redemption!  Why would any believer keep the knowledge of the truth from friends who they know are in desperate danger of hellfire without it?  

Real friends will tell you the truth about what you need no matter how you respond, because a real friend cares more about you than they care about what you think of them.

Summation:
What most mean by friendship evangelism is not friendship nor evangelism.

Final Thought: 
Straightforward evangelism is being the truest kind of friend.

Abortion must be abolished